At Least You Have Family

   Family, FAMILY! One of the most unique relationships that exist.  Who else can treat you like that or speak to you that way and be the one YOU KNOW will be there when ever you need?  And in the end; as in the beginning, are often all that you will have around you. Gotta love 'em! We either get thinner or thicker skinned around them.  I find I get thinner, since mine are not close to me by logistics I have the fondness that grows in my heart and tells my mind of all the wonderful moments in life past and how great it is going to be to share time again.
    Yes, it is wonderful to be together and soon I recognize that my heart was lying to my mind.  It is great, but somehow a strange dynamic takes place and roles from the past fit in to the present and they don't fit anymore, but almost like being switched in those movies, where the mom becomes the daughter and visa verse, sometimes you can't control it.  I guess it is just as unreal as the movie, but not the feelings.  Whom ever was in charge takes charge, even parent plays the role and suddenly in your middle aged life you are 10 again???
     So I stepped back, to observe myself transferred to another time in that moment. And when I didn't struggle, I found love.  Nostalgia is something different, this, might be something a Psychiatrist would treat you for, but in the end, it is unchangeable, and the frustration is in the struggle to show "now", let go and be right where you are at with your family.  Remember it does not change "who" you are, it does not change them (ha.... who can change others? )  It gives that strength to the bond that holds us together,  so even years away when we get together it is as though we have not missed a day.  When you are feeling frustrated because you have not been heard or have for the umteenth time been told how much you like Yams sweet, though you don't and never have, simply smile..... know that they love you and at least you have Family!

    Since I apparently don't cook.... I was able to share in the kitchen time with the privilege of peeling potatoes, and decorating a Ginger bread choo choo train. Neither of which will ever demonstrate I can do much of anything in the kitchen :)  So, I am posting a few holiday treats I enjoy making in my own home :)

Mini Cherry Cheese cakes.  bake 325 for 20-25 minutes.
Whip together
16 oz. Philedelphia cream cheese (softened)
2 eggs
2-3 Tblsp. lemon juice
1 tsp. vanilla
1/2 cup sugar
Graham crackers crushed (~1 cup), mix with melted 3 Tblsp butter, 2 tsp sugar press into mini cups and bake on 325 for 12 minutes before filling with above mixture. Then fill with whipped mixture. After cooked and cooled (in refrigerator) top with one cherry each.  Make extra so you can taste. Makes about 40 (can't remember exactly, made so many batches)

 Peanut butter cookies with Hershey kisses in middle. I use Better Homes recipe from my book and reduce sugar by 1/4 cup.

~ Baklava~  
375 degrees                                                                            

1 ½ cups of honey, with tablespoon of butter and tablespoon of lemon

1 package of filo dough (1 sleeve)

3 cups of walnuts (chop, stop before oils release)

1 egg

1 stick of butter (melted)

1 dish towel damp to keep filo dough from drying out

1 pastry brush (I use a wooden one)

1 spatula

1 serrated knife

Gather all ingredients. Preheat oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit. Glass dish 9 x 13 ½, pastry brush to spread butter.

Begin by painting butter to bottom and sides of glass dish with brush.  Wet towel, squeeze excess water (no drips), open filo dough and gently unroll, lay on top of the wax like paper it came in and lay damp towel on top of the entire roll. Dampen fingers with towel, lift and gather two sheets of filo dough, lay on bottom of glass dish ( replace towel on top of remainder sheets of filo). Paint the sheets in the dish with butter, lightly, remember the sides so they are not too crispy after cooked. Again pick up carefully this time one sheet of filo dough, replace towel, paint, repeat this process till approximately ½  to 2/3 of filo dough is painted with butter and in dish.  Layer walnuts on top of sheets in dish, heat honey mixture just enough so that it pours gently from the bowl onto the walnuts leveled on sheets. Pour honey mixture, begin layering filo dough till last sheet. Lightly butter last sheet, using serrated knife slice into desired square pieces approximately 20 for this dish.  While cutting use a forward motion to not tear the filo dough and press firmly down lifting often.  Again so that top sheet does not shift nor tear.  Once cut whip with fork one raw egg then pour and spread over entire baklava, using the brush to push in between all the slices.  This will bring color and allow baklava to fluff.  Place in middle rack in oven for 20-25 minutes, till golden brown.

Once done, revisit each cut with spatula to ensure that the pieces are not stuck.  Taste (very hot) for satisfaction.  The cook always must tasteJ

This is my pride and joy, it has taken me years to perfect and actually measure so I can write the recipe down.  Enjoy.  When I get better with linking the pictures I will post a tutorial for each phase :)